Hello. My name is Wowie, and I am a hoarder. It isn’t what you think. My house is (relatively) uncluttered. (Although, I am in trouble if that kind runs in the family… my mom is one stack away from her own episode on A&E.) Sure, I have known for a while that something was not right. There have been plenty of warning signs, but I just chose to ignore them. The people closest to me have urged me to get help, but it took hitting rock-bottom for me to finally admit it. I am a digital hoarder. Whew, I said it. I cannot find a therapist locally who is willing to take this on, so I will just talk to you about it, mmmkay?

Problem #1 – I have an issue with deleting. Anything. Emails, photos, files, the little trash bin on the computer… I just can’t bring myself to do it. Want proof? I have 35,275 emails in my inbox. Make that, one of my inboxes. I can’t even delete the annoying nightly emails that warn me my mailbox is dangerously full. Deep down, I secretly hope it will crash, and then I’ll have an empty inbox without deleting anything. Issues people, issues.

My work desktop. Confession... I cleaned it up before I showed you.

Problem #2 – I take too many pictures. I personally don’t think so, but I’ve been told that 85,000 pictures in five years is a bit excessive. There are so many on my iPhone, it won’t let me take anymore. (iPhones can be so judgmental.) What do you get if you combine problems 1 and 2…

Problem #3 – My hard drive is maxed. When I got my MacBook a couple of years ago, I ordered it with a “larger than normal people need” memory. Full. Three external hard drives. Also full. You see where this is going.

This past weekend, G decided to throw my iPhone off a balcony in New Orleans. Maybe he was being resourceful because he didn’t have any beads. Who knows, but in order to get a new iPhone, I had to back up my old one. To back up the old one, I had to have enough memory on the Mac. To have enough memory on the Mac, I had to delete. Cue the meltdown.

Guess G showed you, snotty iPhone

I have spent the last few days trying to dig myself out of this digital mess. In addition, most of the photos I took in October are stuck on (one of 10) SD cards I can’t import. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but you might be getting Halloween pictures for Christmas. Just kidding. But not really.