I would like to do the following things instead of my taxes:
Build a white farmhouse.
Or maybe this one.
With a lovely grass lined pool.
(Look how happy the boys are.)
I would also plant a lovely garden on the grounds of said farmhouse.
From seedlings I grew in my greenhouse.
And I would wear a big, floppy hat and start a CSA with my harvested items. And have chickens. And bees. And a pet rabbit.
Speaking of rabbits, my sister says this one looks like me…
I am not offended. That is a cute rabbit.
Rabbits don’t pay taxes.
I would like to KonMari my closet. Pull every item out. Touch it. See if it brings me joy. You know what doesn’t bring me joy? Taxes.
And also organize my pantry while I am at it. When I am done, it will be filled with bottles of sparkling water and glass containers that contain ingredients not commonly used for cooking.
I would be so organized. And could easily locate the 1099-DIV I am currently missing.
I would help other people have farmhouses just as cool as mine. And I would have an HGTV show.
Basically be Joanna Gaines.
Yes. I would like to be Joanna Gaines instead of doing my taxes. I will hang random objects on walls and they will look fabulous. Pecky Cypress will be my shiplap.
But I am not an interior designer.
I am a CPA. And CPAs are supposed to do taxes. It is expected.
I would also build a beach cottage. Right on the beach. Not a huge mansion. Just a cute little surf shack.
(Look how happy I am.)
And I would take lots of outdoor showers. And read books. Maybe even write a book.
But not a book about taxes.
I would like to stay at fancy hotels and drink champagne and take photos of my outfits and get paid for it. Yes. Instead of paying taxes, I want to be a fashion blogger. How can we make this happen? I have a blog and duh, fashion. Maybe you can make some calls.
And I could deduct the cost of clothes and shoes as a business expense.
I would like to buy an old airstream, remodel it and take it on a cross country road trip.
Except I don’t know how to do that. The remodel part. Or the haul a trailer part.
Now that I think of it, I don’t know how to tend bees. Or chickens for that matter.
You know what else I don’t know how to do? Taxes.
But there is one thing I am clearly good at…
Good thing I have until Monday to file.