Manic Monday

Monday, August 29th, 2016

I have a lot of random things I would like to share with the internet. You love lists? ME TOO! Here we go…

1. Cookie Butter Brownies

Occasionally, I need a brownie. There are also times when standard brownie fat and calories won’t cut it. It feels a bit indulgent to call this a recipe. A more accurate description would be “modified box mix.”

IMG_9531

Prepare brownie batter according to package directions. Melt 1/2 cup cookie butter in the microwave. (Thirty seconds and stir. Continue until it reaches a pourable consistency.)

IMG_9535
Pour the melted cookie butter over the batter.

IMG_9542

Or get your kid to do it. Or do it yourself and blame your kid because it looks really messy. Bake until a wooden pick comes out clean.

IMG_9545

And all God’s people said Amen.

2. Target Top

I got this top at Target. It looks Anthopologie-ish to me and is very comfortable as far as off the shoulder tops go. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t very comfortable. I feel like a T Rex every time I wear one, but I think they are cute. I have purchased more than one, which is more than one needs when one is a CPA.

Kailey says the teeth gritting emoji is a huge happy smile.  I'm not buying it.

Kailey says the teeth gritting emoji is a huge happy smile. I’m not buying it.

3. Hot Weather Hair

I have already aired my dirty hair laundry, but this summer I have taken it to another lazy level. It is about a million degrees here, and I feel like I need another shower after blowing out my hair. After a close brush with a hairdryer related heat stroke, I decided not to do it anymore. Instead of waking up early to wash and dry my hair, I wash it at night and sleep with it damp. I follow steps one and two here, then comb it out. I add lots of Moroccanoil (ears down) and pull the front section up in a clip until I’m ready to go to bed. The next morning, all I have to do is curl a few sections with my curling wand. It doesn’t exactly (or at all) look like I just left The Drybar, but you get what you pay for people.

Disclaimer: My hair is thick and naturally wavy (aka frizzy). This method miiiiiiiight not work if your hair is fine and/or straight. If that’s the case, cooler temps are a coming. In like three more months. Hang in there.

Please share your favorite two ingredient “recipes,” Target finds and hot weather hacks. Or any other random things you’d like to share with the internet. I’d love to hear from you.

Friday five

Friday, July 15th, 2016

1. Pokemon Glow

We have talked about my white legs plight before. I still use the St. Tropez self tanner but have become less and less motivated to do so. I don’t want to be mistaken for a Vanillite, so I use Vita Liberata Body Blur. It contains no self tanner (so it doesn’t smell), is waterproof and lasts for 24 hours. Some would probably categorize it as body makeup, but I like to think of it as glowtion.

image001-6

2. Listen Up

I love to read, but I’m not a casual reader. I can’t start a book and read one chapter a night. If I love it, I finish it in two days (and two sleep deprived nights). I have stacks and stacks of unfinished books. If they don’t suck me in by chapter five, they end up in my bedside book purgatory. I have every intention of finishing them when I have “more time.”

I took a solo road trip in the spring to meet some friends at the beach. I downloaded Audible to fill the time between my car-aoke sets, and I fell in love.

image001-5
I listen to books during my work commute or while waiting for baseball practice to end. Sometimes I give my Billie Holiday Pandora station a break and listen via bluetooth speaker when I am cooking or doing laundry. If you love books but don’t have time to read them, give it a try. Start with The Nightingale. Or you can just read the hardcopy in two days. It is fantastic.

image002-6

The only downside is that I have missed a couple of exits and turns while driving. But it is still safer than my car-eograpy routines.

3. PerfECTO

I thought I saw a ghost on the juice box aisle at Kroger last week. There in all its neon green glory sat a pack of Hi-C Ecto Coolers. I was embarrassingly excited as I put them in the buggy “for the boys.” Y’all. One sip and I was instantly transported to the 1980s. The high-fructose juice concentrate was all I’d remembered and more. I was forced to share, but it is for the best. I don’t want to end up looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man. I’m already that white.

IMG_1929

4. Winner Winner

Congratulations to Robin Byrne! You won the make up gift.

FullSizeRender_2

Thank you for all the kind words on my last post and for giving me another chance. It won’t be easy, but I think we can get through this. Just know that I will likely let you down again. Like only having four things for Five on Friday. Baby steps.

Check out all the FIVE on Friday posts over at A. Liz Adventures. Have a great weekend!

p.txt

Another chance

Tuesday, June 28th, 2016

People change. Drift apart. I don’t know what happened, but I can’t deny that things are different. I feel so empty. And alone.

Everything seemed fine, then one day I woke up and realized I was just going through the motions.

No love. No joy.

I would like to think we can work things out. I am willing to try, but things are so one-sided. We “took a break” and are further apart than ever before.

But it is hard to walk away. I don’t want to lose you. We have been together for six years.

Six years.

Please know it is not you. It is me.

And it is also my kids. I know, I know. It is wrong to bring the children into this, but they have really come between us. I have less time now than when they were infants. I blame organized sports. And laundry.

It is extremely hard for me to admit, but there is also someone else. Instagram (aka Becky with the good hair) is just so easy. So fast. I’ve tried to quit, but I just keep going back for more. And I was recently introduced to Snapchat. She is playing hard to get, but I am thrilled by the lack of commitment. And the filters. I am stuck in the middle of a love triangle. I feel so dirty.

Can you celebrate an anniversary if you’re not sure you are even still together?

Of course you can. Especially if there are gifts. Like this Lulie Wallace notecard set and pair of Anthro earrings…

FullSizeRender_2

IMG_9610

Flowers and jewelry? No, I don’t think you are stupid. I know gifts don’t solve problems but they definitely don’t hurt. For a chance to win, leave a comment below. Just tell me everything is going to be okay. I love the way you lie.

A winner will be randomly selected next week. Who am I kidding? There are no winners in a situation like this.

I am not going to act like everything is okay. Or like I can fix this is one day. It will take time and effort. And I have very little of either. But I do miss you. And I want things to be like they were before.

Don’t give up on me…

Things I would rather do than taxes

Friday, April 15th, 2016

I would like to do the following things instead of my taxes:

Build a white farmhouse.

image003-3

Or maybe this one.

image008

With a lovely grass lined pool.

image004

image009

(Look how happy the boys are.)

I would also plant a lovely garden on the grounds of said farmhouse.

image018

image019

From seedlings I grew in my greenhouse.

image002-5
  

IMG_6843
And I would wear a big, floppy hat and start a CSA with my harvested items. And have chickens. And bees. And a pet rabbit.

Speaking of rabbits, my sister says this one looks like me…

image011

I am not offended. That is a cute rabbit.

Rabbits don’t pay taxes.

I would like to KonMari my closet. Pull every item out. Touch it. See if it brings me joy. You know what doesn’t bring me joy? Taxes.

And also organize my pantry while I am at it. When I am done, it will be filled with bottles of sparkling water and glass containers that contain ingredients not commonly used for cooking.

image022

I would be so organized. And could easily locate the 1099-DIV I am currently missing.

I would help other people have farmhouses just as cool as mine. And I would have an HGTV show.

Basically be Joanna Gaines.

image005

Yes. I would like to be Joanna Gaines instead of doing my taxes. I will hang random objects on walls and they will look fabulous. Pecky Cypress will be my shiplap.

But I am not an interior designer.

I am a CPA. And CPAs are supposed to do taxes. It is expected.

I would also build a beach cottage. Right on the beach. Not a huge mansion. Just a cute little surf shack.

image012

image014

(Look how happy I am.)

image015

And I would take lots of outdoor showers. And read books. Maybe even write a book.

But not a book about taxes.

I would like to stay at fancy hotels and drink champagne and take photos of my outfits and get paid for it. Yes. Instead of paying taxes, I want to be a fashion blogger. How can we make this happen? I have a blog and duh, fashion. Maybe you can make some calls.

image021

image020

And I could deduct the cost of clothes and shoes as a business expense.

I would like to buy an old airstream, remodel it and take it on a cross country road trip.

image016

image017

Except I don’t know how to do that. The remodel part. Or the haul a trailer part.

Now that I think of it, I don’t know how to tend bees. Or chickens for that matter.

You know what else I don’t know how to do? Taxes.

But there is one thing I am clearly good at…

PROCRASTINATING.

Good thing I have until Monday to file.