Graham landed a month in the Mississippi Children’s Museum calendar. He likes to refer to himself as “Mr. August.” Actually, he likes for everyone to refer to him as “Mr. August.” I think he and August are a perfect fit because he has really given us some words of wisdom (and a lot of material) this month.

Graham has grown quite fond of his hand-me-down robe. Sometimes he just shows up out of nowhere wearing it.

The other night, after he was done with his bath, he put it on. He took a brush and began to comb his hair straight back. He told me that he was Elvis, and that I should call him “the King.”

He also told me he “really likes clothes” and asked if he could pick out some new things. When I asked him what he had in mind, he said a blue jacket and some headphones would be cool. And he is popping his collar 80% of the time.

One night when we were tucking him in, Graham said “I wish there were two of me.” We asked him why, and he said “So I could hug both of you at the same time.” SK and I were both about to nominate him for kid of the month when he threw in “and if someone was handing out candy, I’d get two pieces.”

G lost more points when he asked me if he could have our house when I move to the nursing home. He also asked for a camera. When I asked why, he said “So I can take a picture of you and when you get older and older and then die, I can show it to my kids.” Waaah whaaaa.

We were having breakfast about a week after school started, and Wells and I were discussing the new school year. I asked Graham if he liked school, and he replied “Yes, but how much longer until summer break?” He wasn’t happy with my reply.

You really can’t blame him because kindergarten is hard. When I quiz him on a sight word he doesn’t know, his default answer is always “sushi.”

I guess we spend too much time at the Japanese place because he also requested a steamed gyoza at Starbucks last week. (He really wanted a steamed milk.)

Graham heard someone mention textbooks and later asked me if those are books that teach you how to text.

When I picked them up after the first day of school, Wells told us that a first grade gal told him she likes G. Graham replied “well, I hope you told her I already have a girlfriend.” Wells said no, and Graham informed him “that will ALWAYS be the answer.”

Graham has also turned into a little prankster. One day I walked in to him dumping out all the toys in the playroom. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said “my whompy couch” (whoopee cushion). And then there’s the roach. Not sure how we ended up with a plastic roach, but G’s full time job is to scare people with it. In the last few weeks, Kailey, Lily and I have woken up to it on our pillows. When my mom came for a visit, he slid it under the bathroom door while she was getting dressed. He also put the roach in my makeup drawer, next to my car keys and in the pantry by the coffee.

Just between you and me, Mr. Roach’s days are numbered.

And my very favorite Mr. August quote-

“Thanks for taking care of me mama. I’m glad you’re not one of those mamas who leaves their kids on the sidewalk.”

Me too, G. Me too.

And I will be sure to remind you of it when you try to throw me in the home.